


Your Heartbeat On Top Of Mine

by yoonouji



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Past Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 07:03:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15213758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoonouji/pseuds/yoonouji
Summary: On the day Jihoon decides to end his 10 year unrequited love, he meets a stranger who has lots of stories to tell.





	Your Heartbeat On Top Of Mine

Can't get your memory off of my mind (My mind)   
Just want your heartbeat on top of my mine (On mine)   
There's something dancing here in the shadows  
And I wish it were us

- _The Haunting, Anberlin_

 

 

Clutching his notebook to his chest, Jihoon runs for his life, figuratively. He checked the weather app before going out and he did not expect the 30% chance of rain to be 100%. The train is around 300m away from the coffee shop. He normally doesn’t go out unless invited by his best friend Seungcheol but today, he decided to go there alone to write lyrics.

In fact, his best friend won’t be able to meet him regularly there anymore for he just got married the day before. Jihoon’s unrequited love for 10 years ended on the same day. For 3 years, he tried to deny what he felt for the other until he finally gave up on making them disappear. For 7 tears, he watched his best friend fall in love sharing his stories like a young girl and drank beer with him whenever another relationship of him comes to end. One night, they ended up doing it after coming from a party Seungkwan hosted which Seungcheol took advantage of. “I’m so sorry, Ji. I was really drunk,” were the only words Jihoon heard from Seungcheol the next day. He was supposed to be happy but instead, he felt guilty big time since he was completely sober during that night.

Jihoon never expected his feelings to be reciprocated for he has always thought that Seungcheol was straight as a board. Thus, it surprised him when one day Seungcheol told him that he might be in love with another guy he just met – Yoon Jeonghan. Just like with Seungcheol’s past relationships, Seungcheol gave Jihoon real time updates about the progress of their love story until Seungcheol successfully confesses to Jeonghan with the help of Jihoon. Jeonghan was really nice to Jihoon and this made Jihoon feel guiltier. In fact, there came a time when it was Jihoon who had to take Jeonghan out on dates due to Seungcheol’s busy schedule. It was also Jihoon who first got to know about Seungcheol’s proposal thanks to Jeonghan’s call. Hence with a heavy heart and a face hard as steel, he attended their wedding as the best man.

Jihoon feels relieved upon seeing the very familiar glass door. Drenched in rain, he walks in and takes the only table left empty which was at the far end corner of the establishment, near the restroom. After wiping his face and his blonde hair, and trying to make himself at least look decent, he puts down his notebook on the table in order to reserve it and makes his way to the counter. He orders Iced Americano and tries to flash a fake smile as the barista asks where his usual companion is. “He’s on his honeymoon, he just got married yesterday.”

By the time he returns to his table, he finds one of the two seats occupied. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, sorry is this table reserved? I’ll just look for another table.” the stranger wearing a leather jacket with brushed up hair dyed blue asks as he motions to leave.

Jihoon places his hand on the stranger’s shoulder, “Wait, stay there. You can sit there as long as you’ll promise to be quiet.”

Unexpectedly, Jihoon becomes enamored with the smile of the stranger in front of him who apparently was a couple of inches taller than him. Jihoon finds it ironic how someone can smile like that in spite of the heavy rain outside. “I promise to be quiet,” the stranger answers as he sits again and pushes his chair nearer the table.

Jihoon does not really talk to strangers but his personal space is definitely a more important matter. He places his coffee on the table, opens his notebook and takes out a pencil from his pocket.

“Hey, what are you going to write?” the blue haired stranger leans his head near Jihoon’s notebook.

“Lyrics,” Jihoon responds without even looking at the stranger as he sips on his iced coffee.

“For work?”

“Well, you can say that. Though this not really what I do for a living. It’s just a hobby which may turn into work, hopefully.” Jihoon feels the rush of blood coming to his cheeks as he suddenly finds himself face to face with the stranger who apparently was leaning his head closer than he expected. He averts his gaze and sips on his coffee again.

“Oh, I see. Have you written lyrics about moving on?”

Jihoon chokes as the words the stranger said registers in his mind. In panic, the stranger stands and strokes Jihoon’s back. “Are you OK??”

“Y-yes…..” Jihoon tries to answer while struggling to clear his throat.

“Should I get you some water?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m fine.” Jihoon gestures with his hand.

“You sure?” the blue head asks with a worried expression as he tries to go back to his seat.

“Yes. To answer your question, no I haven’t written one. Why did you ask about that by the way?”

“Nothing. I just remembered my best friend Wonwoo,” the stranger explains.

He doesn’t know how it came to that point but Jihoon ends up hearing the story of Wonwoo who is allegedly the stranger’s best friend. Apparently, Wonwoo just broke up with his long time boy friend Mingyu. The latter had always wanted to become a chef. Surprisingly, he was able to get a scholarship from known culinary school in Paris. Wonwoo loved Mingyu so much and he wanted the latter to be happy so he agreed on entering into a long distance relationship with him. The time difference was not that much of a problem, it was their busy schedules which made it difficult for them to keep in touch. One day, Wonwoo just decided to break it off with Mingyu. He longed too much for Mingyu as the anxiety and sadness started to eat him from the inside.

Jihoon pretends not to be too curious by answering with hums and nods. He watches the stranger’s expression change as he narrates Wonwoo’s story. The stranger thinks Mingyu was selfish for not considering Wonwoo’s feelings when he made the decision. Wonwoo was too pure and the only mistake he made was loving Mingyu.

Jihoon drops his pencil and faces the stranger for the second time, “So how is he doing now? Has he moved on?”

“Nope. Unfortunately, not yet,” the stranger sighs.

“Well, it’s not easy.” Jihoon picks up his pencil again and as he starts to scribble some words again, he suddenly pauses. “Wait, aren’t you in love with Wonwoo?”

Jihoon watches the cheeks of the blue haired stranger turn into red. He makes a mental note that he’s actually cute.

“N-no….well I used to be,” the stranger whispers.

“So have you moved on?”

“Maybe,” the stranger chuckles as he shyly averts his gaze from Jihoon.

Jihoon finds it ironic that on his first day of moving on, he discovers that he is actually not alone in experiencing such a feat. Everyone has their own stories to tell. Jihoon tried his best not to share his to the stranger even though there were a lot of times he could have shared his own views since the wounds were still too fresh.

“I have to leave already,” the stranger announces as he stands after looking at his phone. “Thank you so much for letting me sit here.”

“No problem,” Jihoon answers. He waits for the stranger to turn his back before he moves his head a little to look at him as he walks to the exit. Jihoon does not normally talk to strangers but he did on his first official day of moving on. He doesn’t know why but listening to that stranger somehow uplifted his mood.

 ~

 

“Can I sit with you again?” Jihoon looks up upon hearing a familiar voice.

“Sure….” He responds. “What’s your name by the way?”

“Kwon Soonyoung. You can call me Soonyoung, Jihoon,” the stranger answers. This time, he’s wearing a formal suit and Jihoon thinks he is too overdressed for the venue.

Jihoon “H-how did you know my name….S-Soonyoung?”

Soonyoung smiles as he lifts Jihoon’s coffee cup, “Your name’s here, Jihoon.”

“Oh. Right.” Jihoon goes back to his writing while Soonyoung settles on the seat in front of him.

“Don’t you find it funny that we talked last week for hours without even introducing ourselves?” Soonyoung chuckles.

“Actually, it is. I kinda had a hard time labeling you inside my head every time I remembered you.”

“You thought about me during the weekdays?”

“Silly. I guess you’re just too unforgettable especially with that blue hair of yours.” Jihoon retorted as he pointed at Soonyoung’s hair.

“Well, would you like to get to know more about me?”

Jihoon drops his pencil again. “Hmmmm, fine. What has been keeping you busy lately, Soonyoung?”

This time Jihoon doesn’t pretend to write while he listen to Soonyoung. According to Soonyoung, he has a black belt in Taekwondo so he sometimes teaches kids. His friend also owns a dance studio where he can frequently be found dancing and choreographing different types of dance. He’s already on his last semester in college but he’s currently on leave of absence this month. In terms of hobbies, well he has a lot. He also watches anime and Jihoon was also really interested in it so they end up sharing their own recommendations to each other. Soonyoung has lots of part time jobs like being a cashier in a convenience store, dancing as a mascot in one of the famous amusement parks in Seoul and serving as a waiter in five-star hotel restaurant. Soonyoung is also into singing but he tells Jihoon that he’s not that confident. Jihoon gives him advice on how he should practice. Soonyoung asks Jihoon about himself but the latter refuses, “Maybe next time.” Jihoon answers.

Soonyoung does not force Jihoon to speak about himself and instead he grins as he repeats Jihoon’s words, “Next time.” Soonyoung just lets him go back to writing his lyrics. At around 3PM, Soonyoung leaves and bids Jihoon goodbye, “See you next time, Jihoonie.” This time, Soonyoung takes a step near Jihoon and pats the latter’s head as if he was a kid. “Be careful going home.” The gesture makes Jihoon blush. “You too, Soonyoung.”

 ~

The sky is still gloomy and Jihoon feels droplets of rain on his forehead already so he starts to walk faster. 50m near the coffee shop, he suddenly finds a white umbrella over his head. Jihoon looks at the angel who wanted to protect him from the very nasty train – it was Soonyoung.

“Thanks, Soonyoung.” Jihoon smiles as he notices that this time, Soonyoung is wearing just sweats and a plain black shirt. The two makes their way to the coffee shop. Jihoon waits for Soonyoung by the entrance while the latter closes the umbrella and places it on the stand near the door.  Without any further talking, the two makes a beeline to their usual table. This time, Soonyoung orders for both of them.

“Jihoonie, have you thought about your life purpose?”

Jihoon furrows his eyebrows at Soonyoung for suddenly dropping such a serious question.

“Of course,” Jihoon answers as he sips on his iced coffee. “But until now I’m not sure what it is.”

Just like the past two weeks, Soonyoung ends up talking a lot again. He shares the story of a rich man he met at the hospital. The man was stricken with cancer and he was expected to die already in a month’s time. The old man studied law, pass the bar, specialized in litigation and later on started his own firm. It became famous and notorious for handling cases other firms cannot handle. He did not have any problem with his finances except that his family grew to despise him due to his dirty deeds. After discovering that he only had a few days to live, he started going back to his original love – poetry. He wrote poems everyday and started to donate his assets to foundations catering to homeless and abused children. “Kid, I’m already about to die and I still don’t know why I was born,” the old man told Soonyoung. “And even though I get to know it when I reach heaven, hell or even purgatory, it will already be too late.”

“Is that where you’ve been going, Soonyoung? I mean, the hospital’s just near here I suppose?” Jihoon deadpans.

“Yes,” Soonyoung shyly grins, his eyes forming the 10:10 hands of the clock. “But let’s go back to the topic Jihoonie. What do you think about what he said?”

“Hmmmm,” Jihoon pouts as he pokes his cheek with the other end of the pencil. “I think what’s important is that when that ‘day’ comes you won’t have any regrets anymore.”

“True.” Soonyoung commented. “That’s why I’ve been trying out a lot of things.”

Soonyoung’s answer was very alarming that Jihoon finds himself leaning his head closer to Soonyoung, “Are you dying?”

Soonyoung sweats but he laughs really loud that other customers started to gave their table weird looks. Soonyoung leans his head nears Jihoon. “Don’t worry, I’m not.” He flashes a big smile to which Jihoon responds with an annoyed expression.

The two further converses about random topics with Soonyoung doing most of the talking. Just like their past meetings, Soonyoung leaves at 3. “See you next week, Jihoonie?”

“Yeah, see you Soonyoung.” Jihoon bows his head as he goes back to writing again and tries to hide the big smile on his face.

 

~

During the weekdays, Jihoon finds himself thinking about Soonyoung. He’s never encountered the name “Soonyoung” anywhere and he thinks it’s beautiful. Even the owner is beautiful. He is looking forward to the weekend and he can’t wait to see Soonyoung again.

For the 4th, 5th and 6th time, Jihoon walks to the café again to meet Soonyoung under the scorching heat of the sun. Jihoon makes an effort to dress up and look good. Repeatedly, Jihoon finds himself engrossed into the other guy’s stories. Soonyoung never runs out of stories while Jihoon was not really the type to talk a lot about himself – a good match indeed. Until their 6th meeting, Jihoon does not ask Soonyoung why he always has to leave at 3PM and go to the hospital. They also never ask for each other’s number in order to contact each other nor give personal details about their lives. Jihoon thinks, however, that he is already prepared to tell more about himself to Soonyoung and he’ll probably do it on their next meeting.

Unfortunately, Soonyoung doesn’t come to the coffee shop for 3 Saturdays. Jihoon feels a little betrayed since Soonyoung disappeared just when he has already let his guard down around Soonyoung and he’s started to fall for him already. They may have talked a lot but he realized that he really does not know a lot about Soonyoung. To be fair, he also hasn’t talked that much about himself.

On the 10th Saturday, Jihoon sees a familiar figure sitting on the chair in front of his usual seat as he stood at the entrance. Jihoon makes a beeline to their usual table and stands behind the blue haired man. “Soonyoung, I missed you.” Jihoon leans his upper body and wraps his arms around the man sitting. “I’m ready to talk about myself already but can we not do it here? I don’t feel comfortable talking about myself here.”

Soonyoung blushes at Jihoon’s actions and words. He holds onto Jihoon’s arms and responds,”I missed you too Jihoonie. Let’s walk to my apartment?”

The two, hand in hand, goes out of the coffee shop. After 5 minutes of walking, they arrive at a shabby building and enter the elevator. Still hand in hand, they enter Soonyoung’s apartment.

There was nothing special with Soonyoung’s apartment. It was a studio type so almost everything except for the comfort room can be seen by just looking around. To Jihoon’s dismay, Soonyoung lets go of his hand and asks him to sit on his bed. “Anything you want? Coffee? Tea?”

“Coffee please,” Jihoon responds.

“Alright, let me prepare it first.” Jihoon watches Soonyoung walk near the sink. After quite some time, Soonyoung is able to find the ground coffee inside on of the cabinets and puts some inside the coffee maker. The quietness inside the apartment makes Jihoon feels anxious. After a few minutes, Soonyoung places a cup of coffee on the side table near Jihoon and sits beside him.

“So how should we start first? This feels kind of awkward.” Soonyoung grins.

Jihoon slaps Soonyoung’s thigh, “Ssshhh you’re making it more awkward by emphasizing it.” Soonyoung grabs the opportunity and holds the hand Jihoon used to slap him. “I’m sorry. OK, maybe we should start with what you really do for a living. I’d just like to make sure that I’m not talking to a con-man or worse, a serial killer.

Jihoon raises an eyebrow his expression later on softens as he starts to speak. Jihoon relays to Soonyoung that he is actually working for an IT company. He writes lyrics during the weekends in order to reward himself by doing something that he really loves. He is usually busy during the weekdays cracking codes and dealing with technical issues that may make Soonyoung’s nose bleed once he begins to talk about them. He works under the supervision of a very toxic manager. He also explains to Soonyoung why he does it at the coffee shop where they usually meet.

Surprisingly, Jihoon talks about Seungcheol and his unrequited love. Jihoon talks about how they first met, how the other was really protective of him and how he adored him for being such a caring and understanding friend. He also talks about how they did it once and how he almost drove himself into corner during those days he felt like tearing his heart out from his body. Jihoon also talks about how Jeonghan enters into the picture and how nice the other guy was to him. Jihoon has always hated himself for loving Seungcheol. He thinks that those feelings he had have always been a nuisance to their friendship and to their lives. Jihoon never loved himself, to be honest and he thinks that he deserves the very dull life he has been living. Jihoon’s voice cracks and he suddenly finds himself crying in the arms of Soonyoung.

“Do you still love him?” Soonyoung asks as he strokes Jihoon’s back in order to calm him down.

“On that day I first met you, that was my official first day of moving on.”

Soonyoung gulped at Jihoon’s answer. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to talk about Wonwoo and how he was having a hard time during those days.” Soonyoung moved his head closer to Jihoon’s.

“It’s OK, Soonyoung. Actually, you’ve helped me a lot…But please don’t think of yourself as a rebound. Talking to you has let me think about things with respect to life actually.”

Soonyoung lets go of Jihoon first and holds on the other’s shoulders. “R-rebound…Do you like me, Jihoonie?” Soonyoung asks as their eyes meet.

“Yes.” Jihoon chuckles despite the tears running down on his cheeks. “Don’t you find it funny? Too soon right? And I don’t even know you. I don’t even know why you always go to the hospital after our meet-ups. But please, just tell me ASAP if this another unrequited love again so I can plan my official first day of moving on again. I’ll just accept that my life really sucks.”

Soonyoung sighs as wipes the tears on Jihoon’s eyes away. “It’s not funny Jihoonie. In fact, I’m thankful cause I like you too.” Soonyoung kisses Jihoon’s forehead. “I’m so sorry I’ve been trying to hide things from you. The truth is, I’ve liked you since the first time I saw you. You’re so beautiful, Jihoonie. I’ve actually seen you a few times prior to that day. You were always with Seungcheol. Yes, I think that was him. So on that day you were alone I took the opportunity, I intentionally took the seat in front of you. That day, however, I noticed the sadness in your eyes and it really made my heart hurt.” Soonyoung said as he holds on to his left chest.

“Are you serious, Kwon Soonyoung?” Jihoon asks in disbelief.

“Yes. And as the days passed by, I began to fall for you.” Soonyoung averts his gaze from Jihoon.

“How about your hospital trips? And why did you disappear?” Jihoon asks as he gives Soonyoung’s hand a squeeze.

Soonyoung sighs for the nth time. To Jihoon’s surprise, Soonyoung removes his shirt over his head. What appears in front of Jihoon are stitches on Soonyoung’s chest. “Jihoonie, I just had a heart transplant. I had to go back to the hospital for regular check ups. They had to see whether my body has really accepted the new heart they gave me. I purposely did not meet you because I felt guilty. I did not want to lead you on and love you with a defective heart. I did not want to raise my hopes up. I wanted to spend my happy days with you without thinking that I will only be with you just for a short time. But just last week, the doctor finally gave me an OK. Hence, I came today because I’ve decided that I will continue to live my life. I never expected that you will like me back though. I was planning to just keep my feelings to myself.”

More tears race down on Jihoon’s cheeks. Jihoon traces the stitches on Soonyoung’s chest with his fingers. Jihoon leans his head near it and makes contact with his right ear. “It’s beating, Soonyoungie.”

“Yes, and sometimes it does skip a beat whenever I see you.” Soonyoung chuckles.

Jihoon blushes and Soonyoung finds it cute. Soonyoung wraps his armd around Jihoon while resting his head on his bare chest. “Thank you for giving me the will to live, Jihoonie. I hope you’ll choose to continue living as well.”

Jihoon lets go of Soonyoung and cups the other guy’s face. “After this miracle, there’s no way I won’t.” Jihoon plants as chaste kiss on Soonyoung’s lips. “I love you, Soonyoung.”

“I love you too, Jihoonie. I’m giving you my whole heart, whoever the original owner is.” Soonyoung chuckles.

“Silly.” Jihoon places soft kisses on Soonyoung’s chest. “As long as this heart is beating for me, I don’t care who its original owner is.”

“Hey, my lips might get jealous.” Soonyoung teases. Jihoon grins as he straddles Soonyoung’s lap and places his arms around the other’s neck. This time, Jihoon tilts his head and kisses Soonyoung squarely on the mouth. Soonyoung eagerly responds by licking Jihoon’s lips while he held on Jihoon’s hips beneath his shirt, making the other moan at his touch.

Soonyoung’s hands were warm unlike Seungcheol’s hands. Jihoon pulls Soonyoung closer to his body while his tongue explored the roof of the other’s mouth thereby making contact with the other’s tongue for several times. Jihoon feels Soonyoung and he’s glad the other is liking it. Their inseparable lips let go for a while, giving themselves the opportunity to grasp for air.

Jihoon comes for Soonyoung’s ear while the other tries to remove his shirt. Soonyoung grabs Jihoon shoulders and pushes him on the bed. Supporting himself through his knees and his hands placed beside Jihoon’s shoulders, Soonyoung looks at Jihoon. “Oh my god, Jihoon you’re so beautiful.” Soonyoung exclaims.

Jihoon wraps his arms again around Soonyoung’s neck and kisses him again while the grind their bodies against each other. Soonyoung moves his head, licks Jihoon nipple, making the other moan. “Soonie….” Jihoon whispers. “I want you….”

Soonyoung looks up to Jihoon and sighs. “I’m not prepared Jihoonie. I don’t have a condom.”

“It’s okay….I want to feel you. I want the Kwon Soonyoung, who’s alive and who’s on top of me, to fill me in….”

Soonyoung feels the rush of blood to his head but nonetheless, follows Jihoon’s heed and opens the drawer.

 

~

By the time Jihoon wakes up, the sun is already down. He still can’t believe everything that happened but here he is, wrapped around Soonyoung’s arms.

“Soonie….”

Soonyoung half opens his eyes, “Hmmm Jihoonie?”

“Can you tell me what happened to Wonwoo and the rich man?”

Soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows. “At this time? Seriously, Hoonie?”

Jihoon chuckles. “Your stories have always left me hanging you know.”

“Hmmm…Wonwoo went to Paris to search for Mingyu. They’re living together now.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.” Soonyoung answers as he peppers Jihoon’s neck with kisses and starts sucking it, creating a mark in effect.

“How about the old rich man?”

“He survived Jihoonie, he chose to live some more.” Jihoon feels Soonyoung’s smile while the other continued to kiss him on different parts of his neck. Jihoon ruffles Soonyoung’s hair and kisses it as well as he reached for his hand.

Jihoon might have a story to tell of his own but he’s not alone. Who is he also to tell that it has already ended?  Everyone has their own stories to tell and sometimes, it is kind of surprising how two strangers’ stories may collide and become intertwined, forming a continuation or even a beginning of a new chapter of each other’s own stories. 10 years or 10 weeks, it doesn’t matter to Jihoon. What’s important is how he will continue to make Soonyoung’s heart beat as they choose to continue living life together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I suddenly had the urge to write another angsty Soohoon.
> 
> As usual, comments and kudos will be much appreciated.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading :)


End file.
